Picture this: You’re sitting on the couch maybe an hour into Netflix and Chill. You’re watching some Saved By the Bell episodes and chatting with your “date.” You’re talking about life, and all the shit that’s going on: shit job, you live with your parents, society sucks, and you’re too poor to buy weed. You talk for a few hours, and at the end you’re fucking tired. You had a long day, you have to wake up early, and your date is good looking, but you don’t want to have sex because that would involve at least a few more hours of foreplay, the actual act of sex, and then the awkward cuddling where you can’t fall asleep because you don’t feel comfortable with the other person. So maybe you kick your date to the curb, or invite them to spend the night but just to sleep. Either way, there’s not going to be any sex, and you’re fine with it. If they don’t spend the night, maybe you whip out your laptop, have a quick orgasm or twelve, and are off to bed.
Some people might yell at you for this situation. “You had them right there in your bed and you didn’t even make a move!?” Those who are slightly older, above the age of 25, can’t understand why you’d ever want to take sex off the table, while those in their earlier twenties and teens have been in this exact situation. Yes, sex is great and healthy, but masturbation is just as effective and one is basically guaranteed orgasm. Sex in opposition can have one if not both partners feeling unsatisfied.
If you haven’t seen one of the article floating around about millennials not having as much sex, then you’re living under a rock, perhaps made of porn. The entire country of Japan has a dwindling population, to the point that the government was attempting to get younger people to have more children. Yet, what is the culprit behind this decrease in doing the dirty? Porn, sex toys, depression, drugs, and many other factors. It is as if our very existence as millennials is plagued with things to keep us from fucking.
Let’s look at porn. You can stay at home alone every night of the week and watch thousands of other people having sex. Every fetish you desire is simply a search bar away. People our age don’t need to go through the hassle of going out, talking to some stranger, and having a one night stand. Instead if you stay home and masturbate, you don’t run the risk of diseases, awkward and uncomfortable sexual meetings, or even rejection. There’s a safety in the fallback that is pornography. There is a window into sexual satisfaction that you are now able to fill all by yourself, and with the aid of strangers on the internet. I’m not saying that this is a bad thing, hell this could be seen as a good thing.
The benefits of our generation not having as much sex resulted in a decline in teenage pregnancy, smarter sexual health, less sexual partners, and less committed relationships. People in their twenties are no longer rushing down the altar, but rather being pickier and thinking about their decisions before moving in with a significant other. There is less peer pressure to have sex, but there is also more shame surrounding those who enjoy commitment and monogamy. We’re stuck in a state where even casual sex can be considered “too committed” because one will run the risk of catching feelings. As someone who is notoriously anti-monogamy, I can say without a doubt that this is true. Being in a casual affair with any person longer than a month runs the risk of everything going to shit, so one must abandon ship before that point.
Half of my friends are in happy relationships, while the other half are happier playing the newest Pokemon games. I can say that I don’t have any feelings of jealousy towards people in relationships. I feel bad because they are choosing to spend the remainder of their lives with the same person. I’m honestly more jealous of the people who have the correct generation of Gameboy to be able to play the new Pokemon.
Maybe my way of thinking is because I’m a product of my time or my generation, but that’s how I’ve been raised. I was taught to be safe and protect myself from harm, and going out to bars and trying to pick up strangers is pretty much the definition of “NOT SAFE.” When I think of it like this, porn was essentially a creation that spiraled out of control. It was meant to be this rebellious and sinful thing that only a select few pervs could revel in. Being able to get your hands on nude portraits or erotic literature was increasingly more difficult as prudes arose in the Victorian Era. I mean really, these were a people who just lied about essentially everything and kept their dirty secrets behind closed doors as if they didn’t exist. Now it’s so accessible that it’s not even fun, there’s no excitement and drama but rather we just scroll through porn the same way we do Instagram and Facebook. Of course sex has become less important, we don’t need or want to have it anymore. Porn has created a rift where we no longer need other people and isolates ourselves.
The real question is, do we need to change? Is there a point in branching out away from porn and trying to be more personable and spending time with human beings again? I think we should be happy with this change of pace. We’re creating a generation of sexually smart individuals who are keeping the population count down in an increasingly over-crowded world. But then again, maybe if you have the option of getting some or masturbating, you should choose sex. We are a generation of individuals, and sometimes it’s not a bad thing to let someone else get you off.