Don’t Shy Away from Cunnilingus

I am a huge advocate for equality, and equality in sex is the important yet remains underspoken.  It’s something that isn’t addressed often, but it should be.  Women are expected to give oral sex but men aren’t.  My rule of thumb is “Oral for oral.” If I give oral I would like to receive oral. As someone who is at the height of her sexuality, I can say from experience that it wasn’t until recently that I found partners who believed this rule.

I used to let it slide all the time when it came to giving oral to my partners.  I assumed that maybe the first time they wouldn’t do it, but the next time they have to!  I learned quickly that this wasn’t true, and wasn’t a good way to go about having sex. When you have sex it isn’t about one person, it is about both of you achieving orgasm.  If the person you’re with doesn’t have an orgasm, then you aren’t mature enough to be having sex. If you are going to be selfish in bed, then just masturbate instead.

So what makes cunnilingus, or the act of oral sex on female genitalia, so scary?  It is a lack of cliteracy. People aren’t confident or don’t understand the vaginas anatomy and what it takes to give great oral sex.  So let’s look at a diagram!

The clitoris is often referred to as a button, but as you can see it is more of a wishbone shape.  The entire clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings while the penis only has around 4,000.  Not only does it have a unique shape, it also is the only part of the female body that has exclusively the purpose of female pleasure.  The clitoris has a similar shape to the penis in that is has a hooded shaft that swells up when aroused. What can make the vagina so intimidating is that not all vaginas are created equal.  What one clitoris enjoys, another may not.

Contrary to popular belief you can actually have too many orgasms.  If the clitoris becomes too aroused it can become uncomfortable or even painful, if your partner reaches this level?  Continue on by giving pleasure to the surrounding areas and let off the clit for a few minutes while the sensitivity subsides.  Also, STOP BITING THE CLIT.  It’s a very sensitive part of the body, and a light nibble will do, don’t chomp on it like a t-rex, it hurts.

The thing with oral sex is that people don’t want to admit they don’t know what they’re doing, regardless of gender or genitalia, there is a shame in not knowing what you’re doing, and a politeness factor of not telling someone when they’re doing something wrong.  If it hurts, if it doesn’t feel right, if it feels great, if you’re about to have an orgasm: be vocal.  Give positive and negative feedback.  If you aren’t learning from each sexual experience and from each partner, what’s the point?  Stagnant sex isn’t good for anyone, don’t rely on old technique.  Learn!  It is proven that those who vary their sex are more likely to have orgasms.

Cunnilingus is specific to each person.  Just as each vagina is unique, so is what gets them off.  If you are receiving oral sex, I cannot stress this enough, BE VOCAL.  If you like it don’t be embarrassed to moan and let yourself relax.  Sometimes shyness and stress make it so you, as the woman, stop your own orgasm.  A whole variety of factors can make you stop you from having an orgasm, and one of them is that you’re ashamed that it takes longer for you to achieve orgasm.  You deserve all the orgasms, and a good partner will be patient.  You deserve to have so many orgasms that your legs are shaking and you can’t stand up afterwards because of the tiny residual tremors.

Not sure whether to do circular motions, side to side, or up and down?  Do the alphabet with your tongue.  Did she grab the back of you head and pull you closer between her thighs?  Stick with that letter.  S-S-S!  B-B-B! Find out what she likes and do it. Learn your partners vagina and what makes her orgasm.

Want to become an expert at cunnilingus, watch this video.

Did you watch it?  No?  Let me give you the low-down.  A vagina is like a snowflake.  Learn your woman’s vagina and become a cunnilingus master.  Female orgasm is vital to changing the dynamics of sex.  Let’s change the way we look at oral sex!  Become cliterate.

 

 

1 Comment

  1. […]  Cosmo may seem terrible, but they have had decent articles on oral sex and I wrote a piece about cunnilingus.  Unfortunately it’s for heterosexual couples, so it leaves out how having sex with someone […]

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