Tinder: The Sex Menu

I won’t lie to you, I’ve used Tinder, and I liked it.  Met some great and interesting people on there, and some fucking pervy weirdos who I’d never give the time of day.  Yet, for any bad experience I had with the app, overall I wouldn’t take it back.  I was one of the many users who used Tinder for its intended purpose, sex.

For those who are going to get up in arms about this and claim that Tinder is a dating app are severely deluded individuals.  You’re legitimately using the premise of the site “Hot or Not” and swiping people based solely on their attractiveness.  Swipe left for “Not” and swipe right for “Hot.” This will not find you the love of your life.  Admittedly when you chose to approach someone you find attractive in public you’re going through the same process you do on Tinder, but on a smaller more personal scale.

If you know me, then you know that I don’t date.  This being said, I am still a very sexual being, as any female in their twenties tends to be.  I have the ability to separate sex and love, and have a great time with someone purely for some mutual recreation. This is why I used Tinder.

Tinder is a sex menu.  You can be home on a Friday night, not sure what to do and open up Tinder.  Swipe and you’ll find tasty treats of every ethnicity, body type, and personality under the sun.  In the mood for one-on-one?  You can do that.  A threesome, what kind?  It’s a plethora of ready and willing individuals with the same interest as you, sex.  I honestly don’t see why people wouldn’t want to use Tinder.  It’s free, you have no obligation to anyone, and it’s a self esteem booster.  Tons of matches can sit in your inbox but you’ll never exchange a message between you, except maybe this Friday they’re looking just like what you’re in the mood for

I’m not saying that people are all like me; swiping through a seemingly endless stream of possible partners.  There are people who have actually met their current partners on Tinder and are still happily together.  Tinder allowed them to find someone they connected with, but may have never had the fortune of coming into contact with in any other means.  This I do see as really beneficial for young people who, if they’re anything like I was during college, I was either in class, at work, or writing papers.  My desire, ability, and energy did not allow me to go trolling bars for booty.  Side note, bringing people home from the bar is almost always a recipe for disaster, and in the morning you realise that beer goggles exist and you were wearing the highest prescription.

I suppose you would all enjoy a quick Tinder story though, correct?  I mean how could you not.  I match with this guy, I do not remember his name, but he seems cute.  He has a nice beard, glasses, and seems like a sweet guy. Only problem? I had matched with him while in Madison and I had moved back to La Crosse. If you’re unfamiliar, that’s about a 2.5 hour drive. Long story short I do a flirty sob story that my house is empty with no roommates too bad you don’t live here. You know, normal stuff. He then proceeds to say that he doesn’t mind driving up, and I shit you not, within the next 30 minutes this guy is on the road driving to La Crosse.

I will not go into the dirty details of this because my mother reads these. So I’ll say we had a lovely evening and played chess and discussed global warming.

The best part of this was in the morning I had to finish some papers. So I shuffled him out the door, and within 15 minutes, the first of three housemates returns home. Did I mention this was my first time meeting  up with a guy on Tinder? I think I did pretty well. If it weren’t for the unsightly hickies on my neck I would have gotten away with it too.

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