Too Old for This Shit

I feel that I went from the age of 14 to the age of 90 in one fell swoop. I don’t know what happened but as soon as I was in high school and especially in college I couldn’t deal with the obnoxious amount of energy all my peers appeared to have. Most people wanted to go out on Friday nights, I was content staying in and reading manga or watching a movie. I had no desire to leave the house and do things. This by no means implies that I didn’t get into some shit. I was a teenager, making dumb mistakes was an important part of me growing up.

The moment that really solidified my age was definitely when I was getting my hair cut my freshman year of high school. The woman asked me if I was enjoying college. I was shocked. Did this bitch think I was old!? I was relaying this story to my mother and she informed me that I held myself with more maturity than the average 14-year-old girl. This was revolutionary for me. I didn’t have to act my age. I had spent years trying to be exactly like my age dictated. I hadn’t known I could act like a respectable human. Again, this doesn’t mean I didn’t still act like a dumbass and be a total bag of dicks. But it does mean that I attempted to act with self-confidence and have respect when speaking to people older than myself.  Just because I have a baby face doesn’t mean I have to act like a petulant child.

I have been out at the grocery store or the mall and seen teenagers speaking to their parents in the rudest ways, and I have been horrified every single time.  I’m relatively terrified of my parents even as an “adult.”  I still believe that they deserve all of my respect because they have been nothing but supportive throughout my life.  Every time I see some kid talking shit to their guardian it takes all of my will power to not be like “Oh, you want to call social services?  Go the fuck ahead.  I’m sure moving from house to house and never knowing where you’ll be next week is how you want to live simply because you don’t have the respect to apologize for your parents for being a dick.”  Appreciate what you have.  Your parents are fucking trying, do you think this shit is easy?!

That took a rather dark turn.

So what am I going to talk about now?  I really haven’t got a clue.  This was supposed to be about how I feel too old to enjoy going to concerts anymore.  You know?  The sweat, beer, and weed smell along with the blaring speakers has drastically lost its appeal over the years.  Going to shows that aren’t 21 and up are sheer torture or me.  Should your ass really be out right now?  Stop taking all these goddamn concert snaps, no one enjoys them.  They’re loud, shaky, and no one knows what band it is or cares that you went to see them.

I have gotten to the point where I simply like to stand as far back as possible while still having a line of sight.  Then I like to have my overpriced drink in hand and enjoy the music from a safe distance away from the jumping children in the general standing area.  If I end up in the chaos I find myself irritated by the conversations of everyone around me: No Jody, no one cares that you’re “totally wasted” because you and I both know you had two sips of margarita mix from your parents liquor cabinet.  If you keep pretending to be drunk you’ll lose all your friends and die alone, Jody.

Oh god, I’ve figured it out, I just really hate everyone younger than me.  I don’t have time for their antics and their drama.  I have actual adult life problems.  Like I’m sorry Mark says he likes Susie, but I’m in debt up to my eyeballs and trying to keep my life from falling apart.

Jeez, does this post even make sense? Probably not.  Now I’m going to just list a bunch of things I’m too fucking old for.

  • 16 and up concerts
  • Your bullshit

Also if you were wondering about my absence this week from basically all social media, I started working again and had no content or energy to post.  To make up for it I will have at least two new LookBook posts a week! Thank you all for sticking with me, and tell me what you feel like you’re too old for even though you’re so young.

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